Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Everybody's Having a Good Time! In Maine!

You know, I'm not much of a journalist; I've only just now figured out that I can actually get paid for it. But I know enough to know that you can wait your whole lifetime for a chance to write a headline like this one:

8-foot mechanical ape missing, owner mystified

And if you're the guy woman who gets that assignment for the Bangor Daily News, you know perfectly well that you could go your whole career without your work getting picked up by the national wire services. Destiny is banging on your front door, and you'd best answer! I think Diana Graettinger rises to the occasion. And if you're the bored guy at the AP scanning headlines from all over all day long, you'd better believe your eyes are gonna light up at that one. County Commisioners Debate Sewer Proposal. Ball Bearing Warehouse to be Sold At Auction. GIANT FREAKIN' GORILLA MISSING!!!!

So what I'm saying is that a lot of people are having the best day of their lives. And we haven't even talked about the college guys who are high-fiving and cracking beers around the GIANT MECHANICAL GORILLA in their damned living room. They've never felt so alive! On a day like this one, you feel that there is hope for us all.

3 comments:

I got an "A" in Crazy Beeyotch said...

Ahh...this brings me back to the days of stolen Big Boys. I wish there was an obscene mechanical animal around here that I could pilfer for my own front yard. Keep your eyes peeled!

and I just realized what a gross saying that is. No body should be doing any eye-peeling.

Dedalus said...

Full disclosure: I was once *involved* in such an operation, involving a life-sized Ronald McDonald. It was a youthful indiscretion due to the influence of reprehensible companions! I was just the lookout! And the statute of limitations is long expired! And you can't prove anything!

Weird that both S. Dali and eye-peeling come up on the same day. Something in the air, I guess. That can't be good.

Tavia said...

Good words.