Thursday, June 19, 2008

He's Just No Good At All

Talking with a former bandmate, who was happily watching an old Werner Herzog doc—Australia! Bugs! What could go wrong? (Well, see my review of another film.) But it got me excited again about seeing his new crazy Antarctica movie. The underwater Antarctica footage in Wild Blue Yonder was indeed pretty great—the problem was that it had Brad Dourif talking over it instead of Werner Freakin’ Herzog, making scary German pronouncements. What do these jellyfish dream in their frozen depths? Do they despise us?

But that made me look him up on IMDB to get some details, and I just about had a heart attack. Herzog’s remaking Bad Lieutenant! Supposedly. Or not remaking it, as he insists. He’s making a movie about a character sorta similar to Harvey Keitel’s indelible monster in Abel Ferarra’s cult-classic 1992 sleazefest, but doing different stuff. Yes, well, okay, Werner, but you clearly signed on to that particular title for a reason, and I’m anxious to see what it might be. Something tells me it won’t be wholesome good fun. Too bad it’s Nicolas Cage, but on the other hand, he’s got some skills, and he could atone for a lot with one memorably horrifying performance.

(Funny that Bad Lieutenant and The Piano were only a year apart, now that I’m thinking about it. It was the Golden Age of Naked Keitel!)


david james keaton said...

Bucketbabies rule! Bad Lieutenant good 2. he shoots potato chips to solve crimes. he also shoots his radio for no reason, so it all evens out.

so, dude! inspired by your new song-a-day thing and the 1970s Summer Music mix i'm making for vacation tommorrow, i took time out from thinking about the "impossible" training test from Star Trek II (although i wondered the other day why a test of emotional responses would be given to Vulcans to begin with. sooo dumb) and instead spent some time thinking about my OTHER favorite subject:

The song "One Tin Soldier."

i have a theory. you know how at the end they kill all the "mountain people" and look beneath the stone and "'peace on earth' was all it sa-a-a-a-id...da da da da da da da"?
well, i am convinced that right AFTER they read that message, they triggered a bomb the mountain people left behind for just such an emergency. boom! think about it. there was a goddamn bomb under that rock! every Vietnam movie ever made had some poor schmuck lifting up a map or a steaming tea pot and BOOM! and they tell everyone the treasure's under a rock?! come on! Those valley people were suckers. And the "peace on earth" message was just rubbing it in their face, exactly the kind of cutesy notes the villians attach to time bombs in the movies. i'm so right about this i have to stand up while i type.

need more proof: the song actually says, "so they got their just reward." BA-BOOM! tonight i'm working on one more verse for that song to clear up this confusion

Matt said...

...see, if they'd read the fine print, they'd realize that it actually said "Peace on Earth, motherfuckers."